Miss High Maintenance, and other pageant news.

I have a word to say about the Miss America pageant.

Who, in the name of store-bought beauty, ever thought it was a good idea to let me participate in a pageant that involved swimsuits? Because any girl who goes out there, on that stage, of her own free will and choice, is literally begging the world to judge her. Please, criticize my thighs, it will help me be a better person.

(For the record, my enhanced bosom at the Miss Washington Pageant is still a prime family topic at all holiday get-togethers. Any time cutlets are served someone is bound to say, “Remember Annie’s cutlet’s at Miss Washington?”)

I will do everything in my power to encourage my daughter to look for scholarship opportunities elsewhere (unless she’s cocky and self-centered, then I’ll sign her up and cross my fingers she lands 1st Runner Up). I love the Miss America program, but I can’t help feeling slightly heartbroken for all the hopefuls who walk away from their pageanting experience sashless. Oh, the unnumbered fallen.

In other news, I’m spouting off on Studio 5 today, working with Darin, who I’m sure is thrilled to spend seven minutes of his life talking about low-cost/high-maintenance beauty tips and tricks for the not-so-natural blonds and other store bought divas. Crossing my fingers it’s a good hair day (as in, hair out of my face day).

See you on the telly, KSL, 11 o’clock to-day. I’ll try to post the segment if I can.


  1. Ha! I literally just turned on Studio 5. I hope you’re on before I have to go to work. I heart you. I’m so glad we finally got to meet in person.

  2. I’m watching Studio five as I type this.. But I’ve come in in the middle at about 11:2o…I think I may have missed it.

  3. BTW I’m sure there is photographic evidence of this beauty pageant that you speak of. Please share.

  4. I was hoping the pasty look was “in”, now you have to go and tell everyone it’s not. Piano teachers aren’t allowed elegant fingernails. My dark blackish/brown hair will never be able to be turned blond….as I watched this I realized my beauty will always be from the inside. BUT you looked GREAT!!! Can’t wait to catch more episodes.

  5. I watched you enthralled. I use those nails…not all the time because I have a hard time with fake nails but when I’m feeling like I want them those are what I use!

  6. Carol Stamos says:

    I was lucky enough to be there and even met Diane Garnick in person. I’m so glad the women of America are focusing on charity and not just looks.


  7. I’m with you on the swimmy suits. Count me out baby, even when I did look that good. =P

    Congrats on studio 5. I always forget how beautiful your voice is. =]

  8. Great job Annie. I loved it!

  9. You were fabulous! How come you traded Darin in for Brooke?

  10. That was awesome. You were so charming! Most of the time when bloggers appear on TV they look slightly (understandably) terrified, but you’re a natural.

  11. You looked amazing and I liked the outfit! Are those nails for real??

    So glad we’re not just bloggy friends so I can brag and say “My girlfriend is on TV. Is yours?”