Mother Bear gone wild

Pregnant Annie is kind of like Mother Bear on crack.

While lying in my bed last night, I realized that in the past two weeks, I can think of at least five perceived threats to my children that had nothing to do with anything but my insane need to overprotect my offspring.

Why haven’t doctors targeted the Mother Bear hormone yet, and where is the cure? I can tell you right now, it sure isn’t Pepsi products, nor is it prenatal vitamins. In fact, I’m thinking the pills might be making my particular case worse. I was way more mellow when my iron was low. It was more like, “Oh look. A semi heading straight for the ba—snoooz…”

I’m trying to remember what life was like when I wasn’t running around protecting my children. I used to be way more laid back about their feelings, and in fact, if you look closely you might find blank spaces in my memory when I forgot that they had feelings.

I think I’ve had no less than three sisters, on BOTH sides of my family, gently lecture me lately on Overactive Imaginary Threat Syndrome and how I Need to Relax. I will tell you secretly, they were not wrong. I’m hoping now that I have jeans that fit maybe I’ll chill out a little and get back to normal. (Tummy panels are of the gods.)

Oh crap, I just heard June fall out of bed. You know, I’ve about had it with that mattress. I’ll bet that blasted bed is why she isn’t sleeping during the day, poor baby. If you’ll excuse me, I have a few words to say to Serta…


  1. I totally know what you mean! Like today, when the pool TOTALLY grabbed Moxie by the leg and pulled her in? Not cool. Nor was it cool when the stupid pool then tried to drown her.

    I’ll tell you what! I had some scathing words for the pool maker!

    It’s not pregnant hormones, girlie. It’s just all this crap that’s out to kill our children. We should make some laws or something about that.


  2. There’s nothin’ wrong w/being a bear (someone sent me this a few years ago…)

    Gonna Be a Bear

    In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate for six months. I could deal with that.

    Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

    When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definately deal with that.

    If you’re a mama bear, everyone know you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

    If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

    Yep, gonna be a bear!

  3. My husband and I have one of those “space aged” foam mattresses and my kids have all asked for one. Unfortunately they don’t make them for bunk beds.

    Good luck figuring out how to tame that Mother Bear hormone.

  4. My favorite part of our conversation just now was, “Hey! Stop hurting each other!! OK, continue.”

    Love you, my friend.

  5. Sadly, mommy bear syndrome never really goes away. (There’s a good reason for it.) But yes, it’s worse during pregnancy and immediately after. At least you don’t have the fur to go with it. 😉