How to Be

While spending most of yesterday lounging in my bed and ignoring things like wet training pants and food for my offspring, I came up with a brilliant parenting scheme to ensure my children have an enlightening summer filled with character promoting lessons.

We are going to take President Hinckley’s Be Attitudes and focus our morning devotional/scripture study around them. Also I might incorporate some uplifting field trips and perhaps posters, depending on my energy level. Really, it’s such a great idea, ┬ájust think of all the places I could go with this and how amazing my children will be come September.

For instance, the first is “Be Grateful”. I’m planning on going an entire week without doing any laundry or fixing my kids any food. With my additional morning motivational pep talk, by the end of the week, they’ll have a clear understanding of exactly why we tell Mother, “Thank you, beautiful bountiful wise one, for without you we are nothing but stinky, whiny pions.” I am planning on having them practice this phrase throughout the week.

The third Be Attitude is “Be Clean”. I have great plans for this one. I’ve decided that it’s time my children learned to wash their hands. We’re actually going to practice washing our hands and faces at least twice a day. I know, you’re impressed. It’s asking a lot, since the combination of water and soap seems to repel them like some kind of toxic death trap, but I’m certain that this exercise will teach them the joys of cleanliness. Also they will learn to scrub toilets, lift the lid, and flush. We’re planning on spending the entire week in the bathroom.

The one I’m most excited about is “Be Still”. I’ve decided the best way to teach them this attribute is to tie them up, gag them, and leave them in their rooms. Of course, we’ll incorporate our morning character building sessions, and they will have appropriately spaced bathroom breaks intermingled with sufficient portions of toast and luke warm water, but for the most part, I’ve decided that the only way m kids will ever learn to be still is through physical restraint. Luckily, I love them enough to follow through here.

Feel free to join me this summer as we take our children on a tour of the prophet’s “Be’s”. I’m sure they’ll be cleaner, quieter children if we all follow my plan.


Comments

  1. While I’m laughing at your thoughts on this (actually loving your Be Grateful plan best), I think I will use this idea for FHE this summer. Really.

  2. You, my friend, are brilliant.

    I had a big talk yesterday with my 5 y/o about honoring parents.

    I don’t think the lesson stuck so well. Any thoughts on that one?

  3. My personal favorite is the ‘Be Still” attribute. Since I’m planning to visit next week I think it would be nice to put it into effect immediately. I volunteer to read to them while they’re practicing. One book only. It is not my intention to interfer with brilliant parenting.
    How early in the morning d you plan to start?

  4. I think this is exactly what he meant when he came up with them. Thanks for putting my button on your sidebar!!! I’m staring at it with a big smile while I type this.

  5. Sounds like a fantastic plan! ;D

  6. Awesome Annie –President Hinckley would be so PROUD.

  7. Heather J says:

    First of all LOVE “be still” plan! Second this is funny because I recently found a tape of the Way to Be in my car and since I don’t have one of those new fangled cd players I listened to it. So it was very fresh on my mind. I’ve been thinking about some kind of structured program for our household too. So tying my kids up, making them scrub the toilet, and doing nothing sounds like a great plan!

  8. I do not know why I did not think of this plan first – You are amazing and so inspiring! Thanks for paving the way!

  9. WOW! I hadn’t thought of this kind of plan before! You are simply genius! I especially love teaching the children “Be Still” . I think that would be the most profitable and wonderful of the B’s. I can live without clean hands, as long as they sit still!

  10. BEautiful, but the tape thing doesn’t work, I tried it after a really ugly sacrament meeting, if it’s tight enough to really make them sit still their hands turn blue.

    Read the last 8 posts or so, your posts always put a smile on my face. Thanks!

  11. Camille says:

    I’m really going to implement this! Thanks