Crazy internal dialog

So I was visiting with one of my girlfriends last night about her exciting kid-free life. You know the case, she gets to work with big people who talk in complete sentences and rarely discuss things like urine or breast pads. Oh, the days.

She was telling me about a friend of hers who has recently become a stay-at-home mom. With the birth of her first child, their relationship has changed. It seems like her friend is suddenly on a witch hunt for drama, creating problems where there are none and making assumptions that aren’t even in the ballpark of sane. Like any civilized adult, my darling girlfriend was totally perplexed and confused. What’s happening?

Let’s just say she asked the right girl. See, when a woman spends her days in a conversation-free environment where all she does is mindless busy work interspersed with bouts of discipline and tantrums, she has a lot of time with Zelda. Zelda is that girl that lives in our brain. She’s overdramatic, melodramatic, and does not see things clearly. She is also bored.

In fact, without another sane adult around all day to neutralize her wild brain concoctions, Zelda has this amazing ability to convince us that our lives are much more frightening/upsetting/stressful/emotional than they really are. Zelda wants all of us to be basket cases because she is a basket case.

New moms who spend their days alone with an infant are particularly susceptible to Zelda’s influence. Without a strong support of other women to talk to, Zelda kind of takes over until we become weepy, offended wrecks who are sure the entire world is out to get us. (Of course, we no longer have much contact with the world, so how it can be out to get us is beyond me.)

The trick for stay-at-home mom’s is to have a support of some kind, virtual or telephonal or neighboral, who can help us laugh at the stupid things and nip our insanity in the bud. Trust me, it’s the only way to survive.

(Also, I have a little song I sing in my head or out loud when I start silent monologuing about something inconsequential. I sing it until my train of thought is securely off track and Zelda has been officially evicted. Get yourself a song, it’s only a little crazy.)


  1. It makes so much sense. Off to create some kid-free drama. 🙂

  2. Oh, and I really wish I could play Zelda right now.

  3. As someone who is single with friends heading down this path, I found this post super-useful. I would never have thought of that as a possibility, thank you!

  4. I found music to be immensely helpful against Zelda. Some of us silly girls have a really really hard time reaching out; we want to, we NEED to, but we’re stuck. If that’s the case, Pandora with happy stations is a decent 2nd option.

  5. and this is why my husband would be a perfect stay-at-home mom. he loves nothing more than to get lost in his own universe and abstain from social interaction. he’s not even shy, he’s just perfectly content to stay home and be alone and quiet.

    i’m pretty sure that if i ever get to be a stay-at-home mom i’ll eventually go crazy. but i’d still love to try my hand at conquering zelda!

  6. It’s so true. That’s why I work part time. So I get share my insanity with others. It helps (me) a lot.

  7. My husband has a completely different name for Zelda – but its not a nice one! I like to call her Betsy!

  8. I once knew a young bishop whose wife was the source of so much silly drama she really created a lot more work for him. First, she stirred up other women who then went whining to him, and second, every time Sister So-and-So “offended” the bishop’s wife, she complained to her husband in that “I’m really concerned about — she said this and that to me and it really hurt my feelings. But that’s not like her, so I’m pretty sure something awful is happening in her life.”

    So then the bishop would call in the very surprised Sister So-and-So, and upon learning that her life was perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch, he would chastise her for offending his wife!! Sheesh!

    • annie valentine says:

      Wow, DeNae, you really know a lot about this wife. Hasn’t your husband been a bishop?

  9. So you’re saying I need to talk to other adults more today? ‘Cause I’m feeling a Zelda kind of day coming on. 🙂

  10. I love this. It’s also why I work.

  11. I had no idea. I thought it was just me being normal/crazy.

    I guess the fact that I think a “slash” is fine between the words “normal” and “crazy” should have told me that something was off.

    I think blogging keeps my Zelda at bay. That and good music. Fo’ sho’.

    *Can’t wait to rub your belly Friday night.* he heh

  12. Suzanne says:

    I love your honesty. Reading your blog (yes, I’ve been a lurker) has always made me feel better, like maybe I’m not crazy or that I even have a shot at being labeled normal. Now it all makes better sense, that among us stay at home moms — crazy is the normal, and her name is Zelda. Thanks for clearing that up.

  13. ZELDA – she has a name!! I always knew it wasn’t really me. I’m not Zelda, but she surely likes to hang out in my brain. Sometimes all day. Or month. Or decade. Now that I know how to address her, maybe Zelda will let up a little and I could actually have conversations with real live adults without completely sounding insane.

  14. This is so true that it makes this post hilarious and sad all in the same moment.

  15. I remember new mom Zelda days. They brought on my blogging addiction, I’m pretty sure.