Lazy scouts

I have learned that reading your scriptures does not magically a good mommy make.

Yesterday was day three of our Summer Betterment Program. I must say, once I’d screamed at the kids and bribed them into doing their worksheets, things went quite smoothly. And I read my scriptures again this morning (it did require that I trade fifteen minutes of my novel for the Word of God–I honestly thought I might get translated at any second, I was so impressed with myself.)

The first two days went so well, and I felt so good about life in general, that by Tuesday night I was actually depressed. I knew I was at the top of the roller coaster, and any moment could plunge me back into miserable mommy mode.

Sure enough, yesterday I did a little screaming at my kids, a little weeping over my aching back, and realized that righteousness doesn’t solve everything. I’m okay with that.

Now, I know this will come as a shock to you, but Jason has been out of town with the scouts this week. Is it any surprise that I hardly noticed his absence this time? I’m getting so used to hoofing it alone (translation: laying around on the couch avoiding house work and meal preparation) that I almost don’t notice when he doesn’t come home at night. Almost.

As far as the scouts go, this is their yearly High Adventure trip. Is it just me, or shouldn’t “high adventure” translate into things like mountain climbing, and dirty water, and possible exposure to poisonous plants? Shouldn’t it include a lack of toilet paper and severe blisters, interspersed with sponge baths from frigid water? Shouldn’t the boys come home reeking of body odor, begging for a shower and a Big Mac?

Unfortunately (and it goes to Jason’s credit that he agrees with me here), the boys he took were not interested in anything that required such strenuous activity. Since they got to choose the outing, and something has to give, the leaders ended up with a compromise: they spent the week on a luxury three story house boat on Lake Powell, water skiing and enjoying day hikes.

Poor dears.

Truly, what’s this world coming to? My son would rather play the Wii than shoot hoops (no, I don’t let him), and the very thought of sitting outside in the warm weather makes me want an air conditioned nap. I swear, we’ve all been bit with the laziness bug and it’s getting more aggressive each year. There should be a shot or something.


  1. I remember my one winter campout in scouts. Our scoutmaster decided that it was too cold and we ended up setting up tents in the cultural hall of the church. We played basketball and watched movies all night.

    Lazy? What are you talking about?

  2. My brother still doesn’t call if camping if you have toilet paper access. He is crazy. I didn’t realized Jason was with the Scouts this week. And for the record, you didn’t sound stressed on Tuesday.

  3. Gosh-now I’m jealous that I was never a scout. I’m sure the trip will help the boys with all those life skills they’re supposed to be learning…

  4. yea… ummmm that sounds rough. What kind of merit badge does that take care of?

    I’ve realized that being righteous I also scream and still get annoyed quickly… what’s up with that?

    BTW–that was a pic I took of you telling the story where your GIRDLE flipped up in the air in front of that Missionary! IN response to the post below 😉 You’re welcome.

  5. Whose bill is it on? Hope Jason is enjoying himself, I’ve always wanted to vacay on a huge house boat. Never thought to join the scouts to get the opportunity.

  6. My 58-year-old father went on the high adventure with my brother’s troop this year. They went to an island in the gulf. (How they didn’t come back covered in oil I”m not sure.) Some of the boys got 2nd degree burns on their feet from not reapplying sunscreen. My dad slipped on a moss-covered covered rock on their hike. He broke his fall with his hands which would’ve been fine, if his hands hadn’t landed on CLAMS. One sliced almost completely through his hand. They had to take him to an ER on the mainland. His hands are disgusting!

    So yeah, Lake Powell sounds heavenly.

  7. Oh yeah! I don’t much like camping anymore. We go for day trips and come home to sleep in our own beds. The best “camping trip” we took was to disney world! We all read scriptures in the morning at 6:00am. We have been doing it for two years now and I am finally noticing a difference (both with my own abilities and theirs) I have decided that Heavenly Father wants to know that you are serious about it before the change comes! 🙂 Honestly, I find myself much more patient these days. I still yell once in a while, but not near as often as I used to. Now when I have a “mommy blowout” The girls look at me and remind me to talk nice. That does not help the situation!!!! Hope you had a great week even if you didn’t get to go to the lake with a bunch of smelly, crazy boys!

  8. I would think that saying, “Annie, honey, I’ve got to be out of town again for another week” would be as much adventure as Jason could handle.

  9. My last year of Girl’s Camp was supposed to include a high adventure trip. Past years, girls had gone on 3 day mountain trips by horseback, rapelling, white water rafting, 30 mile hikes, etc. We went to Lake Tahoe, stayed in a furnished cabin and used our money to eat at Chili’s. Lame.

  10. It sounds like you need a vacation. Or at least a day at a theme park to lift your spirits. OK, you could setttle for some really good ice cream and a day at the movies. Take a break and have some fun! You deserve it!

  11. Is it too late to sign up for the scouting program?? I think we should create a “bloggers’ program” where we need to earn some sort of water sports merit badge. Or, I’d even be happy with a “full day of relaxing” merit badges…
    You, at least, deserve one of those!

  12. Again absolutely hysterical. I have also noticed that reading the word of God does not make me a better mommy but it does however make my children behave more like humans and less like animals. haha

  13. Great post. I’m one of the laziest people around, but there was always a parent or scoutmaster to push me when I was younger. That stuck and now I can be a little tougher when I need to be. Not sure what’s happened. I think maybe we (the adults) have surrendered. Not that we fought too hard—or at least I didn’t.

  14. My 14 year old LOVES his scout campouts and all the challenges that come along with it. Even the snow cave one. I know… he is obviously part snowman or something. But when he comes home he always reveals how many boys don’t help. Can’t or won’t do the hiking and just general laziness all around. And he doesn’t understand it. I know… He is obviously not related to me… I LOVE general laziness.

    And I am not sure this comment means anything at all. I need sleep.

  15. Poor little scouts! That does sound like a really rough “high adventure.” What is the world coming to?

    p.s. I’d choose houseboat at Lake Powell over near-death in the wilderness, too… but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for them to choose that. They’re just babies, after all. We’re worn out, preggo-housewives. We’ve EARNED the nap under the air conditioner.