Vegas is for Sissies

In lieu of my unborn child’s upcoming birthday, I ditched my family for the weekend and forced a few of my girlfriends to drive me to Vegas so I could have some last minute away time. When I say forced, I might mean at gunpoint.

With much apprehension, Kristina and Amber drove the car while I lounged in the back and tried not to go into labor. We picked up DeNae (who claims to live in Vegas, but who’s neighborhood is closer to the Pacific Ocean than the strip) and drove south to the Last Stand for Gamblers for a heady weekend of pillow fights and jumping on the bed.

Here are a few things I learned while in Vegas.

1. Someone finally invented a place where you can spend an entire day, and the price of a theme park, to do nothing more than eat. For $35.95 you can buy a Buffet of Buffets pass and have access to seven different all-you-can-eat treasure lands, complete with a shuttle and a puke bucket. So cool.

2. There is such a thing as going to the pool without fear of death. Not only did I lounge and float, but at no point did I worry that someone was going to die (except Amber, of skin cancer). I did, however, want to kill a few of the children who consistently followed me around splashing.

3. It’s possible to eat so much food that you go into labor. If you ever need to induce a baby, go buy a ticket to the Buffet of Buffets and have at it. You will definitely birth something at the end of the day.

4. Pants are optional. Especially if you’re Kristina P.

5. We are not as young as we used to be. Over the course of the weekend, the four of us came up with more ailments than a nursing home. I think DeNae might have caught pregnant from me, since I noticed her breathing through her nose periodically over the weekend. We’ll have to wait and see.

All in all, it was one of the best weekends I have ever had, ever. I actually kept wondering why I’ve wasted so much time vacationing with my family when I’ve got friends like these around. I had forgotten that a seven (nine) hour car trip could be so fraught with laughter, or that girlfriends and food are good for more than heartburn and stomach cramps (probably brought on by the laughter).

If you haven’t had a girls’ weekend lately, I suggest you squeeze one in every ten years or so. It will keep you young.


  1. Nope, Annie, I borrowed that lady’s “skirt” and Kristina gave me a checkup. It turns out I have ‘ED’ instead of ‘pregnant’. So that’s a relief. However, I do wonder which of the other girls I caught it from.

    (I hope Kristina blogs about the skirt. She really owns that story.)

    Here’s hoping your baby didn’t knock over a convenience store on the way home!

  2. I still just laugh at all the pictures of you looking completely miserable. It was so fun. I might just have to eat at buffets for the rest of my life now.

    Oh, and DeNae had left before we could teach her “Pants, No Pants.”

  3. I did a Vegas weekend with the girls a little over a year ago, Aweome!

    PS. In lieu of means instead of, and I’m guessing you didn’t choose to go to Vegas and just be pregnant forever.

    • annie valentine says:

      Always there to correct me. How comforting.

      • Considering that you did not give birth while you were here – and can I say, that was the great disappointment of the weekend – it could be argued that you came to Las Vegas “instead of” having a birthday for your child. So I’m giving you a pass on “in lieu of”. You’re welcome.

        • annie valentine says:

          I’ll come visit you in lieu of just about anything, DeNae, including labor and delivery.

      • Annie, my husband uses the phrase “in lieu” incorrectly all the time also. I CONSTANTLY correct him . . . . . did you and he attend the same high school. 🙂 BIG CHEESY SMILE!!!!!

  4. My sister-in-law, mother, and I want to go to Europe on a girls’ weekend. I NEED IT NOW.

  5. I’m so glad you guys had a good time! Sounds like a much needed break!

  6. I have never even wanted to go to Vegas… until now.

  7. Vegas rocks! For one, food is never far away. Two, they really understand a girl’s need for cocktails, even at breakfast. And three (which is closely linked to number one and two), there are loads of fat, drunk people in the pool. Which always makes me feel better about myself. If they’d only let you gamble with baby in hand, it would be perfect!

  8. Oh man oh man. I’m so jealous! A little of the time you guys spent together, but mostly just of the food, lest you think my priorities are out of order.

  9. In Lieu Of going to Vegas, I went to a family reunion with 400 strangers, a magician and a dancing parrot.

    Who had more fun?

    Miss you guys!

  10. This was LITERALLY the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time. Ever, ever. Thanks so much for making me go! I’ve missed you girls all week (well all two of the days since I saw you, anyway). I’ve been craving Yogurtland and Crabs and feet-flavored potstickers. I’ve missed getting yelled at to get out of the sun and “NO YOU MAY NOT EAT A SNACK, WE’RE HEADING TO DINNER RIGHT NOW!!!!!” and belly laughs and sharing a Suggie with you and KP.

    Just so much fun!!!

  11. You had me at “Buffet of Buffets Pass.” Sign me up for the next 8 weeks. Completely brilliant.