Officially done with church

I have hit that point in my pregnancy where I can no longer sit through three hours of church without feeling slightly hostile and more than a little snappy. I had a meeting yesterday morning that lasted an hour and a half, and by the time it was done, my church going tolerance for the day was all used up.

It would be wrong if I didn’t admit that this comes as a little bit of a blessing. This way I don’t have to listen to anyone ask the very old and repetitive question, “When are you gonna have that baby?”

The thing that really irks me is that I waited forever to let the world know I was pregnant, and even then never officially announced it to the ladies at church. Up to about three weeks ago I still ran into people who had no idea about the bun. My reason? Because I don’t want to be pregnant forever. I’d rather people think, “Boy, that sure went fast!” than sit around wondering why I’ve been pregnant since 2008.

Sadly, I have realized that it doesn’t work that way. Once you get to the popping point, people want to count down the days with you. They want to talk about labor and delivery and oh-crap-I-have-to-breastfeed-again.

My SIL had her little baby last week and I saw them last night. She’s lucky, she’s got a perfect nursing champ there who sleeps when she’s supposed to and never misses a poopy diaper.

Please, send me one that has a knack for nursing. I don’t know how I’ll do it if I get another tight-lipped little sucker. (Of course, the sucker in question is currently dancing around my chair like a princess, so I guess I’ll survive and love this kid either way.)


  1. I remember feeling exactly like you do… and really. What kinda dress looks good when you’re that pregnant? When I had the twins, all I could wear in the last two months was a giant, white tent like Mumu. (Mumu? MooMoo?) It was oh, so flattering. I couldn’t wait for Sundays just so I could put it on!

  2. Awwww Annie, you are awesome. You are a fabulous mom, homemaker, and spouse! You can handle this pregnancy and then a newborn yes even nursing! You are amazing, you know why? Because Heavenly Father created you and gave you ALLLLLL the tools you have needed, need now, and ever will need to accomplish His goals for you and your family!
    SMILE!!!! You are incredible! HUGS, Tina

  3. You’re ALMOST done! You’re ALMOST done! You’re ALMOST done. I realize at the end it feels like the day will never come, but you’re ALMOST done! YAY!

  4. Jillybean says:

    About two weeks before my first was born, every morning when I walked (waddled) in to work, the entire office would groan in unison. “Oh no! She’s here!, she still hasn’t had that baby!” followed by comments such as
    “when are you going to have that kid”
    “I don’t think you can get any bigger than that”
    “If you don’t have that baby soon, were going to have to get you a bigger cubicle!”
    And then they would start on my most favorite part where they would give me all sorts of advice on what to do to start labor.
    My advice is to stay home and sit on the couch with your feet up until you give birth.

  5. So, is this the reason you are getting the hell out of dodge? You’ll go away, and then bam, return with a baby. I suspect there is some kind of Lifetime movie plot in all of this.

  6. I don’t get how people don’t know NOT TO ASK. You’ll have the baby when you have the baby! And I really hope you et a good nurser, too. Makes life a heckuva lot easier.

  7. Oh I am so with you there my friend. Good luck and I am sure you will be blessed with a lovely sweet baby that sleeps when they are supposed to eats like a champ and poops when it is convenient! I will pray for a short easy labor too! LOL

  8. I had the worst breastfeeders in the business. To this day I marvel that they survived at all. And I’m jealous that you’re both heading to the cool northwest and going into “snarky comments optional” mode re: church.

    And Jenny, that big tent-like dress thing is actually spelled “muu-muu”. No lie.

  9. I know exaclty how you feel about going to church with a big belly. The question “haven’t you had that baby yet?” made me want hurt someone. “Yea I had the baby then stuck a pillow under my clothes because I love the maternity look SO MUCH.” Hang in there. Don’t be afraid to worship alone. At home.

  10. I totally agree. Having had nine of them, nursed them all, and endured the endless amount of comments and advice, I am all for taking a short vacation. Of course, I do have to admit that the two worst statements ever were after my last baby when my oldest daughter was holding her, (my oldest was an adult) and the cashier looked at her and asked, “honey, how many times are you going to do this to your mama”! My daughter was quick to point out that three of the babies were her sisters and only two were my grandchildren. The other worst comment was when I went to the grocery store for something and the cashier asked when I was due! (I had to tell her that I was due four weeks ago and she said “honey, you ain’t big enough to be four weeks overdue!) Yeah, the joys of motherhood! I often thought of wearing a sandwich board that says something like, Stupid comments unwelcome, open your mouth at your own risk.

  11. Well, 3 hours of church going is even hard for me….the unpregnant. I remember when in the farther stages of my pregnancies tucking hymn books in the small of my back to help me sit in the pews more comfortably.

  12. Don’t you love going to church, suffering through intense backpain, (in my case–really sore broken tailbone), having to piddle every 20 minutes, and additionally dealing with stupid comments from people who don’t know when to shut up, and creepy people touching your belly all through relief society.

    I remember last time I was pregnant thinking, I’m just going to start going around grabbing at people’s guts and see how THEY like it!

    You should put yourself on permanent sabbath induced bedrest for the rest of the summer.

  13. At church I’m more of the oblivious type, as in, “Holy crap, you’re pregnant!” And then the next week the same lady is bringing a newborn to Relief Society. But I’m also oblivious to stuff like, “Holy crap, I walked into the men’s room…..again.” So it might just be my own personal problem.

    If it makes you feel any better, when I’m pregnant, random strangers will come up to me and exclaim, “You’re so huge, how are you NOT bed ridden?!!!” Of course with the last two I was. But still. So rude. Those people totally deserve to be punched…..if only I could have reached my arms around my enormous stomach…

  14. I’m having the HARDEST time with being active at Church right now with this pregnancy. I second everything you said. Uggg… I’ve gotten so bad at coming consistently that they called another Elder in the ward to team-teach my husband & I’s primary class (with my husband). Yup, I’ve been replaced… and y’know what? It’s bliss. 🙂

    YOU’RE SOOOOO CLOSE to the end, Annie!!! (hugs)

  15. I feel you on this, girl.

    I just brought over some of my 40 week pregnant-with-twin pics to a dear friend in my ward who is expecting her baby (one) in 2 weeks. Somehow, telling her I empathized with her only went so far. Especially seeing as that pregnancy for me is now safely tucked back 6 1/2 years. (sigh)

    Still, I vote for drive-thru church services for all pregnant women in their last term. It’s just kind, doncha think? 🙂

    PS: Whatever you feel, just don’t forget to feel this: it could be twins/trips/or quads…

  16. I’m six months into my fourth pregnancy and two and a half months into being a nursery leader–again–after asking to be released. They said they’d release me again once the baby comes, but really, I don’t think I can last that long. I already can’t bend over to pick up the toys or help control the children. I eat way more snacks than they do and I get winded just blowing bubbles during the last ten minutes of Church. I say, when people ask how much longer you’ve got til the baby comes, get a really confused look on your face and say, “What baby?”

    • annie valentine says:

      It shows that men give callings if they expect a pregnant woman to RUN NURSERY because “until the baby comes” life is obviously so easy. Poor naive men, get yourself a sub.