Ants

I have a serious case of ants in my pants.

Whoever thought that service could be so efficient? I am telling you, I’ve got helpers running out of every room of my house at most hours of the day, there’s so much service going on around here. I swear, my loved ones are so happy and jovial and insistent on caring for our every menial need, I have decided that if I’m ever blue again, I just need to find a pregnant woman on bedrest who has a sink full of dishes to tackle. From my perch, it looks better than Disneyland.

And what do I do? I sit in my recliner and try to remind myself that just because I feel fine does not mean I’m allowed to go run a marathon. You know it’s bad when you spend all day guzzling water, just so you have an excuse to take regular trips, via the scenic route through the dining room, to the furthest bathroom in the house, in hopes of seeing something on your path that you can pick up and put away while no one’s watching.

And it’s funny, because normally in life when we’re down, it’s so we can heal. I’m used to post-surgical periods of boredom and they don’t bother me. I know that I’m getting better, building up my strength, improving. It is so hard for me to make the leap backwards. Instead of getting better, sitting just leads to more sitting, and there is no such thing right now as “improving” (unless you count my growing waist line, cause man is that impressive).

Let me tell you, you can only watch HGTV so much before your brain explodes with an overload of home improvement ideas that can never come to pass. And you  know you’re desperate for entertainment when you find yourself cheering and commenting like a long lost basketball coach for the underdog in “Chopped” (a brilliant show on the Food Network).

After this, I’m never watching television ever again.


Comments

  1. I LOVE Chopped. I record it every week. I love that there is always one super egotistical chef, who gets sent home the first appetizer.

  2. There was a lady chef on Chopped that wanted to win to pay for her dogs medical bills (it got beat up) and I just really wanted her to win. I almost cried when she came in second.

  3. Sounds like it’s time to turn the dvd player on and watch some marathon movies instead of tv! May I suggest the following:
    The Horatio Hornblower series (totally awesome! Horatio is my #2 hero, Duane being my first)
    The Sharps Rifle series (Richard Sharp is the man! #3 hero)
    Nicholas Nickleby (#4 hero)
    Pride and Prejudice- all versions
    Sense and Sensibility- all versions
    Emma- all versions
    Lord of the Rings trilogy
    Persuasion- all versions
    That should last you for a while! Then after your done watching all that get the book Battle Field Earth and get ready to have another hero join the group. Johnny Goodboy Tyler(#5), another rockin dude.

  4. Kristina cracks me up. No matter what show you watch, she’s a huge fan, has every episode DVRd, knows the back story and rehab center of choice for every star, and has managed, in some way, to link them back to Mario Lopez, who she then reminds us is the source of all evil and the reason for the collapse of civilization.

    As for you, SIT-two-three-four, SIT-two-three-four. And those are some great DVD suggestions up there from someone far more sophisticated than yours truly. My ideas would have run along Monty Python-esque lines. So I’ll just keep ’em to myself, thankyouverymuch.

  5. I don’t know of these shows that you speak of, because we don’t have cable.

    I feel so left out.

    We moved into our current house the day before Max was born, (scheduled c-section)and I wasn’t allowed to do anything but tell everyone where all the boxes should go. I couldn’t sleep that night, so I got up and started putting away all my kitchen stuff while the rest of the family was asleep so they couldn’t tell me to go sit down.

  6. I always wondered what bedrest would be like….. I guess I’m glad I’ve never found out ;D

  7. Never heard of Chopped?? Is it like Chuckie with his own cooking show??

    I’d die on bedrest. I’d have ants in my pants too. I little rest is great, a little pampering for a day or 2, then I WANT TO GET GOING.

  8. Oh my gosh I had to come comment on this because I loved this comment: ” you can only watch HGTV so much before your brain explodes with an overload of home improvement ideas that can never come to pass” Since I have chronic illness, I just related to that so much and it was nice to have it put into words! I have so many fun ideas for sewing/crafting etc. from blogs and tv that are running around my mind a million miles an hour and can’t keep up. But I am glad they are there because at least I can dream. I love House Hunters International and seeing all the different houses in different places of the world. That one doesn’t make me so antsy to create and I just enjoy it!

    I’m glad you have so much help, and that you will have something beautiful at the end of this, but dang it it so hard to make it through those last tormenting, supremely uncomfortable weeks!