a slightly rained out bloggy bootcamp

So last Wednesday we loaded up the kiddies, a year’s supply of diapers in varying sizes, 44 oz of diet coke with a little shot of Dr. Pepper thrown in (my new skinny serum), and took off for St. George. We only had to stop five times in the first seventeen minutes.

The whole point in going was to give Mama a chance to attend Bloggy Bootcamp, a one day, crash course in blogging for the blogger who cares (or, if you’re me, a not too expensive excuse to escape the children for a day). Three of my cronies were speaking–Hoff-loving Kristina, Blargy Stephanie, and Backordered Denae, all funnier than snot–how could it go wrong?

You want to know where it went wrong? I had to take la enfant.

She’s cute. She’s chubby. She smells like unicorn gas. Who wouldn’t want to hold her all day long?

Me. That’s who.

Five minutes into the program, during what should have been her very long morning nap, she awoke. I spent the first half of the day disrupting everyone with my ups and downs and please-excuse-me-while-I-flash-you-my-tata’s, and frantic looks of, “It was the baby! I don’t pass gas in public like that, I swear!” Exhausting.

By lunch, I was completely deflated. (No really, she had nursed so much, there was nothing left.) I did the only plausible thing: I handed her to a stranger and ran away to Mexico.


Jason came and got us, and I had to leave the conference. I was too uncomfortable, felt like we were too disruptive, and what should have been a fantastic get-away turned into a babysitting nightmare.

(And yes, she fell asleep in the car in the first four minutes and slept for three hours.)

The worst part about days like this is the guilt mixed in with the frustration. I would like to say that young mother frustration was my only emotion, but it was tainted with the knowledge that someday, I’ll miss having my own baby to hold. I couldn’t even properly hate her because I know that she’s going to graduate and move away, and then what am I going to do?

When five o’clock hit, I left the baby with Jason (and Harry, and Rexy, and June Bug) and met my dear friends for dinner. It was wonderful, it was invigorating, and by the time Jason texted me to get my boobies home, I felt completely recharged (and re-inflated).

Hey, if nothing else, at least I got to break bread with my favorite girlies.


  1. You know, maybe this is why I feel so weird every time I think about the CBC. I loved that I went, and I loved meeting so many amazing women. But there is this weird fuzziness that sort of hangs over the entire weekend… like I was distracted, like I can’t actually remember what any of the conference was even about…

    And then I remember, MY BABY WAS FIVE WEEKS OLD.

    You know what I do remember with perfect clarity? The mushroom soup at Zupas. Good day in heaven, was that soup ever good…

  2. Glad you got to have a dinner to enjoy!

  3. We just felt so badly for you. I didn’t also realize she was gassy. See. All part of the babies plans. If they can’t knife you, they will gas you out.

    Love you!

  4. Oh Annie. I’m so sorry there was a cloud (of gas) over your weekend. You are a delight and deserve a fabulously relaxing weekend. Give it another go in about 18 years.
    Seriously though, it was great to see you even for a couple hours. Let’s do lunch soon. We’ll pass the baby around the table and over to the next table if we have to. Whatever it takes.

  5. Melanie Jacobson says:

    I feel for you. I went to LDS Storymakers this spring when Eden was seven weeks old and it felt exactly like this. Blech. But you’re right, they grow up super fast and the window of time where you can hold, nurse, and snuggle is really, really small.

  6. I would be willing to bet that the majority of those bloggers were a) women & b) a mom, grandma, aunt or @ some point in their lives, a babysitter. It’s horrible though when you feel like all eyes are on you & you feel flustered & frustrated. Betcha everyone remembers your talk the best though. *grin*

    My daughter was so horribly gassy (& fragrant) that people looked @ us strange in the store. So not pleasant!

  7. Sometimes the best part of a conference is just seeing each other and saying hello, so I’m sure it wasn’t a total loss. It was fun to see you both, gassy or not. 🙂

  8. I’m so sorry you had a rough weekend. I honestly didn’t find you to be disruptive at all. At least not during the conference. ;o)

  9. I was very gassy that day too. It was all the unicorn dust I snorted. She wasn’t disruptive at all. Seriously. You were very respectful and always walked out of the room or quieted her. I loved seeing you all too briefly.

    Now… we need to plan your and Kristina’s The Twitter Bootcamp courtesy of your’s truly.

  10. Hey, gas happens. I am so glad you stuck it out so we could have a chat and I could smell your baby. So glad you got to get out for dinner. What is the name of that book you suggested I read about being a free-lance writer?

  11. I wish I woulda been there to hold her for you! And to laugh and gab with all of my favorite gals, too! Love you!

  12. How could something that cute be disruptive? It was fun to meet you at the dinner!

  13. It was fantastic to see you! I’m sorry Baby GiGi was not being cooperative. Lets get together soon. I miss you.