*$&% update

Thank you thank you THANK YOU, for all the moral support and subsequent puns from yesterday’s pooping meltdown. I’m feeling a little less emotional constipation.

June has browned two pair of undies today already (both of which she happily rinsed out herself, and both went in the trash–to which she didn’t bat an eye), so I’ve made an executive decision.

“Junie,” I said calmly after folding the load of stained undies that was fresh out of the dryer, “We’re not putting these undies back in your drawer. They’re going up in your closet, and you can have them back when you’re ready to poop in the potty.”

“Okay,” she said, “Cause they’re for big girls, and I’m just a little girl. I’m not a big girl yet, so I can just wear my diapers.” Then she plunked herself down in the baby carrier and said, “Goo goo ga ga!”


(See Melinda’s blog right here.)


  1. Oh yeah, they so know what they want!! You will just have to tell her that when she goes poop in the potty for one week (use stickers) than you will take her to her very favorite place for a party. (pizza, mcdonalds, ect. Where ever she loves to eat) Pick a place she loves and than don’t there at all for the next few months. (She just might be that stubborn). Everytime she wants to go to Mcdonalds, or whereever, you simply tell her….”I would love to take you to McDonalds! As soon as you poop in the potty we will go. It is a place for big girls!! Let me know if it works. You can use anywhere that she would love to go. I promise that it works. You really have to stick with it though if it is important to you. It didn’t bother me when my daughter did that until she was going to be three. That is when I said enough is enough and you can’t have a birthday and turn three until you are not a baby anymore, because three year olds aren’t babies. Reward systems work great! You just can’t forget what you said or give in, because than she will know that she has won!!

  2. I just read yesterday & today’s posts & all the comments. All were great comments! If you decide to keep her in diapers until she’s ready, that’s great (I’m pretty sure that’s what I would do). If not, I have one more idea for you. With my 3rd, after 3 weeks of pooped pants every day, I was at the end of my rope (two months is forever!). I started making him wash his undies in the toilet. After the first couple of times, he started enjoying it (such a boy). So my husband came up with the brilliant idea of telling him that if he pooped his pants, then he would have to wash them out in the toilet and then of course, he’d need a shower afterward. But the catch was, he got a stone-cold shower! Luckily Matt is good at following through because I don’t think I could handle doing that with the accompanying tantrum while forcefully being showered, but it only took doing it twice and Wah-lah! – he was completely potty trained. I had already done lots of rewarding for success, but we decided at that point when we knew he was capable that it was time for a major consequence.

    Having said that, that was a year and a half ago, and now it’s time to potty train #4. Wish me luck – I’m starting next week…..and I’m NOT looking forward to it!

  3. The shower thing worked for us too.

  4. can i say, “not surprised”???? i only share that sentiment, cause after i commented and went to bed last night, i started thinking about it. is she feel less than since the new baby?
    i’ve heard of this sorta relapse thing SEVERAL times when, and not even the youngest sometimes, siblings feel less than the favorite/less than noticed/ replaced. have even witnessed it when my family did foster care while i was a teen. some kids would come into the home and get settled in, but when a new child was placed with us we had massive backsliding happen all the time.
    it’s just a thought. apparently she WANTS to a baby and coddled….perhaps held more….or just catered to more. not saying you’re a bad mom, cause you’re not. just saying she thinks she needs more is all.

    and as for the washing them out herself deal? yeah remember when i said my mom made me wash mine in the toilet? when i was done, they’d hang-dry over the bathtub, and they went back in my drawer. there was no tossing them. and no sweet-smelling fabric softener effects/fresh from a warm dryer until i complied. just saying. if you give the re-wash idea another go…try the toilet avenue. it’s just gross enough that it might finally sink in.

  5. Ouch! Kids are wonderful, eh? I’ll trade you straight across a snotty 13 yr old & a diva of a 8 yr old though. Really, straight across.

  6. Since I haven’t yet potty trained my lovely gal yet, I’m wondering if the following works (because it’s been working with everything else in my household so far)…

    So around Christmas my dad mentioned something about helping my gal learn how to exercise her agency. Sure, she wants to make her own decisions. It’s hard to be 2 and listen to everyone tell you what to do.

    So when she’s trying to be a turd and doesn’t want help getting dressed or she fights getting her diaper changed, I say, “You can get your diaper changed or you can sit in Time Out.” She’s making her own decision and living the consequences of that choice. So…does that work with Potty Training?

    • annie valentine says:

      No. I wish it did. Then again, it works with some kids, that’s how Rex got potty trained, but the June Bug? no.

  7. or when she has a stinky attitude I let her know that she can be happy or she can go sit in her room until she decides to be happy.

  8. She is a little sassy one! I wonder who she gets that from?

  9. Yikes. I don’t know, my girls both were pooped trained before potty so I got nothin’. All I can offer is sympathy and prayers! Here’s hoping to less poop in your future!! Fingers crossed.

    I so want to make a fortune cookie with that phrase on it, just for moms.

  10. My Rachel was exactly the same. She knew exactly what she wanted and how she thought it needed to be done. I made her walk each and every single diaper I changed of hers out to the garbage can. She hated, HATED getting dressed (boots, hat, gloves and coat) to go outside.

    If she went in the toliet than she got 10 cents. Everytime we went to a store I also pointed out super fabulous toys that she could buy with her toilet money if she saved enough and went in the potty.

    PS: Each of us as a mother has those days when we aren’t at our best. Your kids know you love them. You show them everyday. One day does not a bad mother make. Keep your chin up and remember these strong willed children are pains in the butt now but they are going to be the leaders in the future. You can dang well bet my Rachel isn’t going to do anything someone else tells her to do on sheer principle!

  11. Although I can’t really relate with the obstinate pooping thing (thank heavens) I can relate to the obstinate child thing. Last year, my now 3 yo screamed for 3.5 hrs refusing to put a shirt on (any shirt, I’m not picky!). Afterwards she thanked me for a wonderful day. A few months ago we had another shirt issue and she stood in a cold COLD shower for 10 minutes before she would agree to get dressed. In anything! Again, I’m not picky. She is a stubborn little thing. I call her Stinkerbell for a reason. It sounds way better than the other names that go through my head.

    At this point, if she really wanted to be a baby, then I would let her be a baby. Including no big girl stuff, no big girl toys, no pretty nail polish since that’s for big girls. Anything and everything vaguely big girl would be gone. And replaced with baby toys and baby naps. It really does have to be their choice. You just have to help her see what choice is the best. ;o) Good luck!

  12. sassy doesn’t begin to say it…

    my youngest is now 6 – and I think all my anger issues related to crap and potty training are finally passing… or at least they will be soon 🙂

  13. You totally did the right thing. She might have won this round, but you’ll prove victorious eventually. SOMEDAY she will want to poop in the potty, and that will be a beautiful day. And for now, just keep on keepin’ on. 🙂

  14. Oh my lawsy!