I think my husband cheated on me yesterday…

So here I was, all set to take Jason on a romantic dinner date for two, when he goes and cancels on me. What the??

Allow me to back up. Jason always does Valentine’s Day. He went into this marriage fully informed that this is one holiday with no holds barred, and has managed to hit ten of eleven years with fantastic surprises. This year I decided it was time to give the guy a break, so I went and planned it myself. We were going to grab a show, get some prime rib, what guy wouldn’t love that?

Apparently, my husband.

He was supposed to be home at five. I called him at four and asked him to swing by the cleaners on his way. But at 4:55 he called to tell me he’d been “called back into work” and “wouldn’t be home until late” and “it’s a really important case, I’ll make it up to you”. Okay, sounds legit.

But my sources (oh yeah, I’ve got sources EVERYWHERE) tell me that at 4:45 he was seen at the cleaners hitting on a trampy brunette (who might or might not look suspiciously like me with dark hair) perched next to his car in scantily clad clothing. It only took her 24 seconds to finagle her way into his car and AWAY. THEY. WENT.

To make matters worse, my sources (who quickly followed the couple) report that said tramp, who goes by the name Natasha, took him to a Jon Schmidt dinner theater (probably not the best place to cheat on your wife), PDA’ed all over each other the entire night, and then shock of all shocks, ended up back in Layton, at the La Quinta Inn (off the Antelope Exit in Layton, newly remodeled with a continental breakfast, rocking pool and jacuzzi, and realllllly nice beds. I hear it’s an absolute steal for whatever you might or might not need a hotel for). Scandalous!

I don’t know about your Valentine’s Day, but I can tell you right now he’s going to have to work darn hard to make this up to me. And if I ever get my hands on that Natasha, I’ll show her what it means to be taken to the cleaners.


  1. I’m pretty sure this means you prepared the awesomest ever Valentine’s Day for him? He doesn’t deserve you. (or Natasha) 🙂

  2. diana banana says:

    i would love to know the number of people that will read this and not realize your subtlety……poor people.

  3. Scandalous indeed! I’d like to be there when you get your hands on that Natasha.

  4. Oooh, that Natasha! She’s gonna get it (can’t you just see someone thinking that?!)

    Sounds like Natasha is a pretty smart cookie.

  5. he he he he….have a friend who did this for her husband last year. and the funniest part was the fact he had the goofiest grin plastered to his face for like a WEEK afterwards!!!!! 😀

  6. mom of a mob says:

    I somehow missed the “who might or might not look suspiciously like me with dark hair” part the first time & had to re-read, cuz I KNOW he wouldn’t be alive to day if he’d gone anywhere with “Natasha”!
    Hmmm… maybe next year… 8^>

  7. He is one lucky guy.

  8. Nice work! Way more exciting than our stay home with the kids type of Valentine’s Day! By the way, I hope that Natasha was wearing a wig…that could be a lot of work for me if not!

  9. So awesome! Someday I will be doing this! hahaha

  10. ooh RACY!

  11. Okay, I am so doing this next year. It’s the one time out of the year I get to be scantily clothed outside the bedroom.

  12. I think you should have posted a picture of Natasha’s outfit.

    or maybe lack…….in that case, don’t post.

  13. So you’re sayin’ Operation Lover Lips was a success…

  14. Oh my gosh that’s freakin’ awesome. You are my hero. I seriously had no idea what you were talking about until I read the comments! I kinda thought it was a (bad) dream you’d had! You’re such a little Vixen!

    I got Tavis a card.

  15. Did you watch “Modern Family” this week? Clive and Giulianna. This story sounds a lot like theirs.

    BTW, I hope Jason was going by “Boris” for the evening. And they both spoke with a Russian accent.

  16. You rock. Wheels a turnin’, but I hope I can remember come next year! 🙂

    Which reminds me, does your son still have that one piano teacher that comes to your house?

    • annie valentine says:

      Haha! You mean Miss Peabody? Nope, but he totally misses her. She just had a really hard time getting here undetected.