Things to know about nipples

FYI, if you or any woman you know ever decides to nurse a baby, here are a few important suggestions.

1. Once your baby has teeth, either a. stop nursing, or b. never fall asleep nursing. Apparently, two nights ago Georgia was having a chipmunk dream and OH MY GOSH my poor, poor little flower. It looks like someone took a lawn mower to it.

2. If your child does accidentally grind her new little daggers on your delicate self, do not, under any circumstances, try using liquid Band-Aid.

And now I’m going to stop talking.


  1. Did someone say nipples?

  2. Oh mother of ouchies. If you can get it, I recommend the gel bandage they use for low grade burns. a nurse gave those to me when I was pumping milk for my babies and the NICU- not knowing that the philanges were too small, (they were pumping the skin off my nips. there was blood).
    You can just cut off a little square, and use it usually for about a day at a time (it dries out after that) and it feels so much better. Plus it’s a nice cool temp (not a painful cold) when it’s time to put it back on after baby finishes. They saved my poor nips, and I didn’t have to take my pain pills just to pump milk.

  3. Ouch! But thanks for letting your misery bring a smile to my face:).

  4. Pooooor Baby . . . . . . yes, I mean you, not the baby 🙂

  5. First time Aubrey did that, I was mostly asleep and flicked her in the mouth before I even realized what I doing. I said, ” Don’t bite the…….boob that feeds you.” It scared the crap out of her, and every time she started to bit after that, all I had to do was look at her and she’d start crying.

    Sorry you’ve been mangled.

  6. Wow! I SO feel you pain! Once, mine had a hole in the side, at the base of the aureola. So not fun. I did not try the liquid band aid though. And I was terrified about nursing the next chile, that the hole would reopen.

  7. oh my gosh! i hear ya! we are in the same situation here! i’ve been cursing like a pirate! My son just got his 2 bottom teeth…what is it with the clamping and then turning of the head!!

  8. Ouch. And then ouch again.

  9. This is HILARIOUS!!!!

  10. You just made me very glad that mine are no longer functional……….just decoration.

  11. We call them “nips” in this house. I guess it makes it less dirty in my mind. 😉

  12. So very, very funny! I immediately had to send the link to my nursing friends.

  13. Double ouch! Sorry but I am giggling. Both did that although my son would grin @ me while he was doing it, the little stinker.

    Okay, now my girls hurt & I haven’t nursed in 8 yrs!

  14. Hahaha Tauna and Kristina made me laugh. I never nursed my babies (I tried with number one but no milk. Weird, right?). I can’t even imagine what the pain must be like!!! So are you done nursing or just done doing it while you sleep? Wow, who’da thought that little angel could be so mean???

  15. This makes me glad that I couldn’t nurse either if my kids past 6 or seven months, and the fact that my son didn’t get ANY teeth until 13 months old. You can also try the Newman’s Nipple Ointment. It has numbing agents, and healing properties… that are still safe for nursing. It is the greatest Rx I ever received.

  16. Oh my. Liquid bandage on a nipple? OOOOOWWWW!

    I might have gotten Tiger Balm on a nether region once. Accidentally. That was practically an emergency. At first I thought I was dying, then I was hoping I might. It was bad.

  17. Important ?
    If my 6 day old baby is already “biting” down with her gums and grinding should I be worried?

  18. Oh ow. Believe me I can relate to the biting and how but it hurts, but liquid bandaid?! OH MAN! That stuff hurts so bad just on your finger, I can’t imagine it…you know…there! I’m lucky my kids don’t get teeth until after they’re one, but the biting with gums, twisting and pulling is bad enough!