Cold turkey

No, this post is not about fowl.

Also I should warn you that my breasts might explode at any given moment, so don’t get too close. (I’ve told my husband this repeatedly, he still doesn’t quite get it).

So the whole weaning Georgia bit sounded way better before I went 24 hours without nursing her. At first, it was mild discomfort. This was closely followed by cold sweats and milk glands so ripe for the nursing you could bounce a quarter off them.

I made it through the second night with the help of two painful showers, one drowning nightmare, and a baby who slept peacefully until dawn.

Georgia, on the other hand, is doing swell. The first day she cried the first three times I went to give her a bottle, but took them anyway. Since that time she couldn’t care less where her nourishment comes from; I might as well be hired help demoted to diaper duty and bib removal.

Finally, after letting numerous girlfriends feel me up (seriously, they were so hard I felt like a walking carton of liquid laundry detergent), I took an ace bandage to them in an effort to contain the madness.

Yesterday was day three, and by five in the evening I was one milk gland and 26 seconds away from mastitis. We were having an early birthday party for Harrison at the park, and seeing that I’ve never done the whole bottle thing, it won’t surprise you to hear that I completely spaced bringing the formula.

The baby was crying, I was sweating, the party was swinging, and just when I thought I might go bananas, it dawned on me: I could solve both our problems by simply nursing the baby.

So I did.

In ten minutes flat she emptied me out on both sides. I cinched those girls back into their bindings, recommitted myself to the bottle, and this morning I woke up for the first time in two days and didn’t bump my chin on my engorged shelving.

Saints be praised, I think we’re gonna make it.

And Happy Mother’s Day!!



  1. So, the Ace bandage didn’t work? That’s weird. Sounded like a perfectly normal plan.

  2. I am not looking forward to this stage in my (and my baby’s) life. I don’t want to go through engorged chest pain again!!!!


  3. You really want to be careful going cold turkey if she was nursing very often! I don’t want you to end up with mastitis. I had it after Megan died and it was horrible. Georgia is so much younger so im assuming she was nursing even more. If you don’t want to nurse, maybe pump… just once a day to have some relief unless of course you are still feeling great now! Hopefully you are. I can’t believe she just went straight to a bottle you lucky girl! That definitely makes this transition so much easier. THinking of you!

  4. Ohh I can imagine the pain. I agree with Jennifer. Weaning is more about slowly stopping the milk production for your benefit more than the babies. Pump a little to relieve pressure if needed and do it less and less and suddenly you won’t remember what it felt like to be full.

  5. Your girls got felt up huh? Awesome.

    Sounds incredibly painful. It will get better. Just keep the hubs away from you and it should be all good.

  6. I used cabbage leaves and ice packs wrapped in the ace bandages. I pumped every few days, just enough so I didn’t cry from the pain. Two weeks and then they were “normal” again. Good luck!

  7. Yeah but wait a couple more days and you’ll wake up one more shocked out of your mind at the empty skin sacks hanging where your boobs used to be…

    (I laughed my head off at this, especially since I’m “trying” to wean right now. I’M trying, my son is relentlessly hanging on. Yes, you read that exactly how I meant it.)

  8. Breast feeding is so painful on both ends- when you start to, and when you try to stop to.
    That’s all I’m gonna say about that.