Magical beans

I need to talk about something personal that is really annoying. For those of you who do not like reading overly personal medical information about strangers, feel free to click away. This post is also gender based, so if you’re a man go read some college football and save your eyes.

For the past twelve years I have struggled with infertility. In fact, I can count on one hand how many “monthly visits” I received during my 12 child bearing years because they almost never happened. Oh, how I prayed to be regular. Please, let me ovulate. Please, let Aunt Flo come visit. Please, make me normal.

Twelve years. For twelve years this was a major TOP (topic of prayer) in my life. Heck, it took meds and diets and more voo-doo than you want to know about to get my kids here, thanks to my housebound eggs. The girls just didn’t want to drop. Ever. (I have a bad case of PCOS, very irritating.)

Despite having three different doctors tell me at different points that I would most likely “never have another child,” we managed to populate just about every two years. By the time number four was ready to pop, I was kind of sick of miracle babies.

Tubes tied, prayer book closed, have a nice life. Finally, after all these years of hating my lack of fertility I was going to sit back and revel in the convenience.

And now my body is regular. Twelve years of tears and hormones and low carbs, and NOW my body is regular. Some things are so stupid.

On a different note, tonight I made amazing beans and thought I’d share them with you. Your family will love them, your house will smell homemade, and your husband will want to make love to you the second he walks in the door (they won’t make you ovulate though, sorry).

Also, they’re super easy.

Back to School Beans (I just made that up)

1 bag navy beans or small white

Pour into large pot and cover with lots of warm water. SOAK OVERNIGHT.

The next morning:

1. Rinse beans thoroughly 2. Replace water, cover about an inch extra 3. Chop up 1/2 lb uncooked bacon 4. Chop 1 med onion 5. 1 TB salt 6. Throw everything into the bean pot.

Cover. Bring to a boil on high, then turn to super low and simmer, stirring every 15 minutes or so. Simmer 3 hours (watch your water toward the end), salt to taste (you can always add more, but nothing is worse than too-salty beans).

Serve with brats, hot dogs, pork roast, etc. My entire family loves these (except Rex who doesn’t count where food is concerned), and you can add brown sugar, ketsup, mustard and molasses and bake it all in the oven the next day for some home cooked baked beans. Good eating!



  1. I can’t imagine anything worse than that right now. Sometimes I hate being regular—not like I really need it these days. If I had had to suffer through being irregular and then when I didn’t need it BECAME regular, I might voo doo curse any medical professional I’d ever used.

  2. Recipe looks good…when you said to serve with brats…I forgot you are in Germany…..just for a second. lol

  3. Yes, why can’t we be Done when we’re Done?! I thought I was going into menopause but it turned out I was just seriously anemic. Really?! Sheesh! Sorry, but thanks for letting me get that out. Super annoying it turns out.

    Your beans sounds yummy.

  4. Annie, you’re special because I haven’t commented on a blog in a bazillion years. Even longer since I blogged myself.

    I have the same “problem”. Finally, after seven infertile years, IVF twins, and two old-fashioned miracle babies, I can predict my cycle to within, oh, about 5 days (which is really saying something, considering my history). Unless I’m stressed, then it all goes to hell again, but then it kind of feels normal to be 60 days in with a (thankfully) negative pregnancy and no ovulatory action in sight. Good thing I wasn’t having sex in high school — I’d have needed anxiety medication for all the pregnancy scares.

    (Also, my PCOS seems to be less . . . active? I guess, when I’m religiously exercising. Maybe that’s it?)

    In addition to being told “we would never conceive naturally” (not true, see above, was perhaps divinely intervened), I was also told that I “would never be thin” (true, I guess, so far — but at least I’m not obese and hairy like so many other PCOS sufferers), and, alternately, that the time right after the twins were born (which was my third cycle of IVF, first two were cancelled due to risk of hyperstimulation, then had ovarian drilling) would be the most fertile time of my life: ovarian drilling was therapeutic, IVF was therapeutic (ruptured all those cysts), pregnancy was therapeutic, nursing twins was therapeutic. This was the one prediction that was absolutely dead on correct.

    And there we have it — an entire summer’s worth of pent-up blog comment mojo exhausted in one fell swoop.

  5. Beans sound easy and delish. We will definitely try. Send us some German brats-okie dokie?

  6. You know, every month, when I curse my own existence with the bleeding and the excruciating pain (much worse in these pre-menapausal years), I try to remember that I am blessed to have been predictable and normal in this part of my life. I am sorry you had so much of a struggle.

  7. So far I’ve been opposite. So, um, neener neener? (Yeah, that’s not very nice and/or helpful, is it.) And I’m sure I’ll be cursed for my luck one of these days.

  8. Ha, the same happened to me . . . . irregular, I could go 6 months without a period . . . . and as soon as I decided not to have any more kids it was like clockwork . . . . too frustrating!!!!! No uterus now though, so I’m free and clear . . . . . I guess you could pray for that . . . . NOT!

  9. Huzzah! This might be my FAVorite post ever. Ever! This is for 1) The IKEA rug 2) the overstock chair 3) your transfer to Germany 4)your (hopefully) soon to be home and finally, 5) your current dress size. Take THAT!

    Really–you just might look in to ablation. Best health insurance co-pay I’ve ever had (next to the brain surgery), no lie. LOVE it. Me and my lovely uterus will soon be parting ways—can’t wait! I think I might have a Bon Voyage party.

  10. (My husband never wants to make love to me after we eat beans.) The being regular thing after you are all done stinks. Don’t ya just want to say, “What was that all about???”

  11. yeahhh…about that. it’s never convenient for us…then again, it’s not OUR plan 🙂

    i’m with ya though, it’s annoying!