Just give the baby a coke and get on with your day


Let’s talk about this picture for a moment, shall we?

That is my baby. In her bottle is a two-day old leftover can of flat Diet Dr. Pepper 10.

I am sure that there are dozens of highly trained mothers out there with 1, 2, even 3 children who would never in a million years consider this kind of behavior acceptable in any setting. I know because I, too, was once that mother. A wonderful, thoughtful, conscientious mama who gave my children whole foods and routinely snubbed the evils of carbonation, sugar substitutes, and Heaven forbid McDonald’s.

I can remember when Harrison was a baby and my Father in law (one of my favorite humans ever) gave him a few drops of Diet Coke from the end of his straw. I literally thought I might rip his head from his shoulders for tainting my child with poison (I wasn’t a big pop drinker back in the day). A few weeks later when Harrison got an ear infection I was pretty sure it was from the Diet Coke.

But let me tell you, I have learned a few things about survival. Take yesterday, for instance. After nearly five hours of dragging this poor child from one government office to another trying to get an official gas card for my rental (don’t even think you can just swing in and gas up around here), running from base to base to get a copy of my stolen vehicle registration, plus having to try and find a new car one the side, this baby was DONE.

Even with a weak nap she spent the afternoon in tears. Part of this is her missing father; we stopped by his office to fax a paper and I’m pretty sure she wet herself from excitement at finally seeing Daddy again. He wasn’t there. She cried when we left without him.

And I wanted to stop at the local market and get milk, but what do you do when your exhausted baby is fast asleep in the backseat and you need to go in? You skip it (unless we all think I should have just left her unattended in a foreign country so I could go get milk and avoid ruining her metabolism for-e-ever).

So forgive me if, upon her rather abrupt and overly weepy awakening, I resorted to the only thing I could find in the house that wasn’t water (which she had violently thrown across the room).

After the week I’ve had it can’t get much worse (did I mention the strep throat? No? Well let me tell you, that was fun).


  1. Right now I’m watching my baby dive into a Costco-sized bag of Doritos for breakfast. Boy Scouts improvise their way and I improvise mine.

  2. Does Germany have CPS? Because I am putting it in my contacts, on speed dial, right now.

  3. What!?! We are supposed to be giving our children milk and/or water? I was always taught that anything but straight up Coke would rust ones pipes. Guess I’ve been doing it wrong.

  4. I can’t even see that brown stuff in the bottle. I’m too enamored by that cute pigtail I see poking out of the side of her head.
    I hope you catch a break soon!!

  5. I have been wanting to comment for the last few posts, but haven’t. I just have to say I’ve been there. My kids are all teenagers now, but I remember. I just want you to know how sorry I am for the trial you are going through right now and hope your husband can be home soon to help you. Hang in there. You are a great mom from what I’ve read on your blog. Your kids are the most important thing to you. That is pretty evident. If it was me in your same position I would do exactly the same thing. {Hugs}

  6. yvonne stewart says:

    I’m still laughing, sorry I know it’s not funny, and I sincerely hope Jason is home soon and everything calms down to a dull roar, but oh my gosh, it is funny!

  7. Diet Coke always soothes me.

    My son Matthew (the one who died) his wife is an EXTREME health food and exercise addict. One time when Matt was visiting with his 2 year old daughter, he was sipping a diet coke. After he was all done, he gave it to her to play with, and it looked like she was drinking it. So we took a picture.
    I thought his wife was going to faint.
    What’s that ol’ saying “when the Ox is in the Mire”

  8. sues2u2 says:

    Totally agree w/ Yvonne. And if it helps, when I was a mother’s helper in NY my employers left a bottle of beer on the table & the 3 yr old drank the whole thing. Talk about a sick kiddo later that night. Trust me when I say that a little dt Dr Pepper doesn’t even deserve a second glance! Hang in there.

  9. I love Lindsey’s comment–best ever! I say next time spike that flat Dr. Pepper with some Tylenol with codeine. And take a few sips yourself. That ought to make the day a little better all around! 😉

  10. Sarah Knight says:

    I just keep picturing Harrison and Caleb as little kids! Remember way back in another life when they were our only children? I can just see him taking a deep breath and being brave for you. So sorry about your accident. Wish I was there to return a favorite pair of jeans as a pick me up! One thing I’ve learned in military life, nothing crazy ever happens when daddy is home. Makes you not want to leave the house when they are deployed/tdy. Good luck with everything. And you are not a lazy mother. (Sorry my comments stem from many posts I just read!) You are always doing something with or for those kids. I just completed a project for London’s room that I needed some felt for. I found a ziplock bag full of felt that you put together for a very hungry caterpillar thing (that you put together!) that I apparently never made! Hang in there and say hi if you ever are visiting the redneck riviera again!

  11. Baby #3 is a whole new world and lives a whole different type of life. I am kinda nervous for my #4!