Under the microscope

Holy crap I have way too much to say.

Between my marriage and my mothering and my personal salvation, it feels like this move has brought everything in my life under the microscope. I’m seeing myself and my family anew.

Have you ever gotten a new mirror in your house and suddenly you realize that you look more/less fat/old blond/wrinkled than you thought you did? It’s kind of like that times ten.

We’ve made some big and unexpected decisions this week. Much to my total shock and surprise, we have decided to put Rex into the German school system (kindergarten screening was a rather traumatic experience that I shall write about when I’ve recovered enough to relive it in print). The village school is closer, it’s shorter, and the kid is still totally brave and uninhibited when it comes to speaking German. He hasn’t hit the Age of Unbelieving yet, when kids start to doubt themselves.

Harrison is a newly reborn recovering TV addict. The kids get one movie a day (VHS FOREVER) and we have no television. I have never liked my children so much.

June…is coming along. We’re learning to respect one another a little more each day. I’m accepting the fact that she’s smarter than me, and she’s accepting the fact that I spank hard.

And me? Maybe it’s my way of trying to ensure that we have as many blessings as humanly possible, but much to my offspring’s frequent dismay, I find myself forcing the children to listen to scriptures and The Friend every possible second. If we’re not doing that, they’re forced into harmonious singing about Jesus (interspersed with bawdy ballads and the Oklahoma! soundtrack). Also I’m threatening them with the Devil more often than usual.

Frankly, I feel like this is a chance for me to step up my game and go from good to better.

Mostly it works. Sometimes I scream at them.

I’m really hoping it all balances itself out when my eternal placement is up for discussion.