Fat Ugly Girl

So the other day my girlfriend calls me.

“Hey, I have to go with my husband to a fancy dinner tonight and I have nothing to wear. Got anything?”

Now we all know that I’m all about fancy everything, so I invite her over to raid my closet.

She drops in and I pull out this gorgeous cocktail number that I got on a super deal last winter, complete with matching strappy gold stilettos. She puts it on, opens the door, and my jaw hits the floor.

She looked GO-O-ORGEOUS. Talk about the belle of the ball, she could have gone without a stitch of makeup and hair in an old ponytail and still have stoled the show.

As I’m standing there, gawking at her fantasticness, she does what every woman in her shoes would most likely do: she pinches a non-existent piece of fat, scowls at herself in the mirror, and says, “I don’t know, I might be too hippy for it.”

Why do we do this to ourselves? Because let’s face it, we all do it. It doesn’t matter how smokin’ hot we look in something, one glance in the mirror and all we see is that zit, or a patch of wrinkles, or some otherwise attractive bulge that we like to call “flab”, but that any man would secretly wiggle his eyebrows at.

The saddest part is that when we go out in public, most people don’t look at us and pinch our fat with their eyes, trying to find any and every possible flaw. And when people give a compliment, the initial reaction for most women is shock. Really? You think I look nice? Ugly old me?

We all know I wasn’t about to stand around and listen to that kind of negative self-talk, and anyone with eyes could see that her arguments were spineless. She looked good, and she deserved to feel good. It only took one good, honest look in the mirror before she saw herself for the beauty she is. I think sometimes we forget that we’re hurting our own feelings.

Let me tell it to you straight. You are as beautiful as you think you are. You want to feel better about yourself? Be kind to that girl in the mirror and stop tearing her down. When you catch a glimpse of yourself this week, say something nice, out loud, and squelch those old self-esteem killing comments you usually make. Give yourself a break and show some love.

You deserve it.


  1. What a great post! It is some kind of genetic thing I guess, that women are so concerned with things like this. My belief is that women dress for other women, not for men. Thanks! I will try and do better.

  2. Yes that’s very true…you really are as beautiful as you think you are!

  3. I usually try to say something nice about my hair…I’ll try and branch out this week:)

  4. I wonder if I’m a freak that I don’t do this? It’s not that I don’t see the flaws, I do, but for the most part I ignore them. And as soon as I walk away from the mirror they’re gone from my head altogether.

    I guess I just have a better than average self image. I wonder how I got it? and how I can give it to my daughter.

  5. Annie this is so sweet and so true thank you for taking the time to make us stop and really see us in the mirror. Tammara

  6. Alison’s a freak because she’s a natural size 2. But I digress.

    Annie, You almost had me in tears over here. Thanks for this.

  7. It’s so true! I’ve had complete days ruined because I’ve dwelled too long on a perceived defect. That is just so stupid! I hate when I let myself do that. I’m getting better the older I get, but it still happens.

    Thanks for this post! It was a wonderful reminder.

  8. This is why my HS days were a disaster. I was so full of negative self talk I could barely get out of the house. I was also convinced that everyone shared the talk I conjured in my head. We need to be sooo nice to ourselves. This talk is so counterproductive. It is also amazing how positive talk can lift our spirit!

  9. I’m going to need you to read this post to me in a couple of days.

  10. So true!!! It is amazing how we see ourselves.

  11. I’m trying to encorporate Becca Wilhite’s advice via the Grandma in Bright Blue Miracle and find one body part of mine that I think is divine. I think it’s my calves. I love my calves.

  12. Thank you for this post. I really needed to hear this today. It was just this morning I was feeling like the fat ugly girl and cutting myself down. Thank goodness for a loving husband who loves me anyway no matter what I look like, and thank you for your advice. You are right!

  13. Thank you. I have had a horrible, crying week when nothing has gone right and I feel like I am just the spare part in life providing food and ironed shirts for the husband. I am still lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!! He may not notice or care but I am. I am still important. For my age I look o.k., my figure is o.k., my hair will always be a mess but you can’t have everything, i do have good points.